quinta-feira, março 22, 2007

Os 10 Mandamentos escolares

Ha muito tempo atras os professores eram maus, davam pauladas nos alunos, chicoteavam-nos e davam reguadas, mas tudo isso mudou com os 10 Mandamentos escolares. Estes foram feitos para que os professores fossem respeitados e nao odiados e para que os alunos fossem disciplinados. Ora, agora os 10 Mandamentos escolares sao como os 10 Mandamentos de Moises: As pessoas estao-se a cagar para religiao, principios, respeito ou boa educaçao. Agora e vai para a rua, ou como o mitico professor Fifi Figueiredo diz e passo a citar: "Tas a olhar po tecto, entao vai olhar para ele na rua!Rua!" ou "Ta calado ou mete a viola no saco!" ou "Vai por as barbas de molho" ou entao "Tas aqui e para aprenderes Geografia, nao para me chateares!". Isto sao so expressoes, porque os gestos; a sovacada molhadinha; e barba branca e caracteristica e a irresponsabilidade sao piores. Ou entao passo tambem a citar uma cena caracteristica da aula de Geografia:

Na sala de aula, tudo a conversar, alguns em pe e a fazer barulho.

Francisco(em voz bem alta)- O stor, diga la qual e o sumario?(gritando)- Stor, com todos a falar, nao consigo ouvir nada!
Stor- Porque e que tas a gritar?, vais mas e p'ra rua!
Francisco- Ah pois vou!
Stor- Pois vais!
Francisco- Com muito gosto!
Stor- Fecha a porta quando saires.

Claro que isto na altura foi um espectaculo, foi loucura total.
Agora voltando ao tema os 10 Mandamentos escolares sao:

1- Nao daras graxa aos professores
2-Nao diras piadolas secas aos professores
3-Nao comeras ou colocaras pastilhas debaixo da mesa
4-Nao daras baile aos professores
5-Nao balançaras na cadeira
6-Nao copiaras ou cabularas
7-Nao mandaras o professor po caralho (como faz alguem que eu conheço)
8-Nao ouviras musica durante as aulas
9-Nao apontaras com lasers para a cara dos professores sem eles notarem
10-Nao andaras a porrada nas costas do professor durante as aulas (como tambem faz alguem que eu conheço)

Estes sao os 10 Mandamentos escolares. Estes ninguem respeita. Estes ninguem cumpre. Para estes todos se estao a lixar. Mas o contrario destes todos o fazem. Com respeito e honra, dedico este post ao grande professor "Fifi".

54 Comments:

Blogger Inês Pombeiro said...

E ele é mesmo um grande stôr!!! Quem poderia alguma vez esquecer o "põe a viola no saco e as barbas de molho!" ou o "Conttribuições para atrasar a aula, já estou eu farto delas!"? É um fantástico professor, o verdadeiro sir! Vivam as aulas do stôr figueiredo e as suas expressões inéditas! (quanto aos mandamentos, se não dás graxa... pas de boas notas para ninguém! - acreditem)

segunda-feira, 02 abril, 2007  
Blogger Beatriz Esperança said...

Lol, Zé Luís, coseguis-te ter piada. No entanto, penso que não se deveria fazer pouco de um homem tão.. erudito.. como o fifi. Ele pode suar como um cavalo, mandar fazer trabalhos que depois não deixa apresentar, falar de outobro a abril dos subúrbios e das perfiferias, fazer testes sobre algo que ele disso que não ia saír,... Mas, pobre homem, tem coragem para dar aulas na escola alemã!

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Blogger Kiii said...

João,
vem ao Verdelima que eu tenho um novo artigo que me saiu muito bem!
E por falar nisso... temos que falar sobre o Verdelima. Ja esta mais do que na hora de irmos em frente com o projecto.
xx
joana

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Blogger Inês Pombeiro said...

Já está mais que na altura de publicarem alguma coisa nova!!! 3 pessoas e ninguém escreve nada! Mexam-se! :P

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